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Writers and Editors (Pat McNees's blog) RSS feed

What's wrong with that sentence?

Sometimes examples of media inattention to copyediting cry out for public comment. Take the lead sentence in this ABC News story: "Police in Washington state captured a schizophrenic killer who had escaped during an outing from the mental hospital where he had been committed to a state fair."

That's the opener for the story Escaped Insane Killer Captured After Four-Day Manhunt by Dean Schabner:
http://www.abcnews.go.com/US/desperate-manhunt-escaped-insane-killer/story?id=8624637

In this case "outing" got separated in a confusing way from "to a state fair." How would you rewrite that?

Thanks to Anita Bartholomew for this example. Share when you find others!
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